Building a strong marriage on a solid foundation requires intentionality, patience, and aligning our lives with God’s plan. Think about the time and planning that goes into building a home. Once you obtain a location, you must secure the necessary permits, complete the excavation, and pour the footings and foundation. A lot of effort goes into something that most people will never see, yet the foundation determines whether the home will stand the test of time. Jesus used the illustration of a wise man building his house on rock and a foolish man building his house on sand. When the storms inevitably came, the house on rock stood firm, whereas the house on sand fell with a mighty crash. Jesus is the solid rock foundation on which we build our lives, our families, and our marriages.
God’s Original Plan for Marriage and Family
One of the essential foundation stones that holds up our society is marriage and the family. Marriage was made in heaven, as God brought Adam and Eve together in the garden. God intended marriage to bring loving companionship to the people of this world. However, because of sin, the joy of marriage was soon overcast with sorrow, and the harmony of family life was shattered by strife.
To understand God’s design, we look to the scriptures, such as the daily readings provided by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Scripture provides guidance on how couples can navigate relationships with grace, humility, and devotion.
Understanding Christian Submission in Marriage
In Ephesians 5:21‑33, Paul writes that as children of God, we should “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” He then writes, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”
The word “submit” often carries a negative connotation in modern culture. However, the original Greek term does not imply superiority or inferiority. It simply means “to rank in order under a specific pattern.”
A Practical Example of Authority and Order
Consider how authority functions in daily life:
- The Truck Driver and the Crossing Guard: When a truck driver submits to a 12-year-old crossing guard by stopping his truck, he is not showing himself to be weaker or inferior. He submits because he recognizes that an order of authority is established for the good of drivers and pedestrians alike. He submits for the sake of peace and order.
In the same way, when it comes to marriage, God makes the rules, and His rules are meant to be a blessing, not a burden.
How Husbands Should Love Their Wives
Paul emphasizes this blessing when he calls on husbands to reflect Christ’s selfless care:
- Love as Christ loved the Church: Husbands are commanded to love their wives just as Christ loved the church. This leaves no room for dictators, tyrants, sinful pride, or selfishness.
- Love wives as their own bodies: Husbands ought to care for their wives with the same tender attention they give to themselves.
- Focus on the spouse’s needs: A marriage that asks, “What’s in it for me?” will struggle. But a marriage that asks, “What’s in it for my spouse?” often creates a positive cycle where spouses outdo one another in love.
Agape Love: The Key to Building a Strong Marriage on a Solid Foundation
The ultimate example of love comes from Christ. Even more importantly, the forgiveness for our failures comes from Christ, who loved the church and gave Himself up for her to present her as holy, radiant, and blameless. Paul paints a picture of a filthy Cinderella transformed into a beautiful bride. Jesus takes us, washes us, dresses us in His righteousness, and prepares us for the eternal Wedding Supper of the Lamb.
We refer to God’s love for us in Christ as agape love—an unconditional, self-sacrificing kind of love.
Why Agape Love Matters
- It reflects God’s grace: We have not always loved God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, nor have we loved our neighbors as ourselves. Yet, God sent Jesus so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).
- It motivates selfless service: Jesus declared that greater love has no one than to lay down his life for his friends. As Paul notes, it is by grace we have been saved through faith—a gift of God, not by works.
- It transforms human relationships: God’s agape love motivates us to love others unconditionally, moving past simple friendliness into genuine, self-sacrificing service.
Overcoming Modern Challenges to Biblical Marriage
For many today, marriage is viewed simply as a contract—easily made and easily broken. Many claim that “marriage is just a sheet of paper,” opening the door to temporary commitments.
In God’s eyes, marriage is a lifelong promise and union between one man and one woman: “Those whom God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Why Church and Devotion Matter for Marriage
While modern culture often ridicules biblical teaching on family roles, statistics highlight the power of a faith-filled home:
- National Divorce Rate: Approximately 1 out of 2.
- Regular Churchgoers: The divorce rate drops significantly to 1 out of 40.
- Home Devotions: For families who practice regular home devotions, the rate drops to 1 out of 400.
These statistics demonstrate the impact of building on God’s word rather than societal trends. When husbands and wives routinely seek God and practice saying, “I’m sorry… please forgive me,” sin’s destructive influence is counteracted by divine grace.
Looking Ahead to the Eternal Goal
Our primary goal in life is not merely achieving a perfect marriage on earth. Our ultimate goal is to take our seat at the Wedding Supper of the Lamb in Heaven alongside Jesus and all believers.
God has invited everyone to this feast, and He has already provided everything we need through Jesus our Savior. By relying on His grace daily, we can continue building a strong marriage on a solid foundation that honors God and withstands the storms of life.
May God Bless You and Grant You His Peace!