Think about the time and planning that goes into a building a home. Once you obtain a location, you must secure the necessary permits. You do the necessary excavation. You pour the footings and the foundation. A lot of time and effort goes into something that most people will never see. When, if ever, was the last time you saw the footings underlying your own home? But the time and effort you put into the foundation determines whether the home will stand the test of time. Jesus once used the illustration of a wise man building his house on rock and a foolish man building his house on sand. When the storms inevitably came, the house on rock stood firm, whereas the house on sand fell with a mighty crash. Jesus is the solid rock foundation on which we build.
One of the foundation stones that holds up our society is marriage and the family. You could say that marriage was made in heaven as it was God who brought Adam and Eve together and united them in marriage. We hear that, “God intended marriage to bring loving companionship to the people of this world. But because of sin, the joy of marriage was soon overcast with sorrow, and the harmony of family life was shattered by strife.”
That brings us to today’s first reading (Ephesians 5:21‑33). As children of God, Paul says, “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Paul again uses that word, “submit,” when he says, “wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” That word, “submit,” carries a negative connotation in today’s world. But the Greek word doesn’t imply superiority or inferiority. It simply means to “to rank in order under some specific pattern.”
When a truck driver submits to a 12-year-old crossing guard by stopping his truck when the sign goes up, he isn’t showing himself to be weaker or inferior. He submits because he realizes the order of authority is established for the good of drivers and pedestrians alike. He submits to the crossing guard for the sake of peace and order.
When it comes to marriage, God makes the rules. And the rules are meant to be a blessing, not a burden. Paul emphasizes this blessing when he says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loves the church.” Husbands loving wives leave no room for dictators or tyrants. Husbands loving wives leave no room for sinful pride and selfishness. Husbands loving wives leave no room for a lack of love and appreciation. Paul says, “husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.”
God wants us to look out for others, especially the other “self” that God gives us in marriage. A marriage that says, “what’s in it for me,” will struggle. But a marriage that says, “what’s in it for my spouse,” will often experience that wonderful snowball effect of spouses almost competing with each other to see what they can do out of love for each other. Happy wife, happy life.
The example comes from Christ. More importantly, the forgiveness for our many failures also comes from Christ who “loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” What a beautiful picture Paul paints of a filthy Cinderella being transformed into a beautiful bride. It’s a picture of what Jesus has done for us. Taking filthy sinners like you and me and washing us in His blood, dressing us in His righteousness, presenting us as holy and blameless to God, ready to enjoy the never-ending Wedding Supper of the Lamb in Heaven.
We sometimes refer to God’s love for us in Christ as agape love. It is an unconditional, self-sacrificing kind of love. The kind of love that isn’t always easy to come by. The kind of love that isn’t always easy to show.
We see that in the fact that we haven’t always loved God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and we certainly haven’t always loved our neighbor as ourselves. The punishment we deserve is hell where people will be separated from God and his love for all eternity. But God doesn’t want that for anyone. That’s why he sent Jesus to be our Savior. Jesus tells us in John’s Gospel, “God so loved the world that He sent His one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Jesus also tells us, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” We are his friends, through faith created and strengthened by the Holy Spirit working through Word and Sacrament.
God’s agape love for us motivates us to agape love others. Love that imitates the love our Savior has for the Church. The love that held nothing back when it came to our salvation. Jesus didn’t just give his share; he gave his all. He gave his life on the cross to forgive our sins. He rose from the grave to give us the gift of heaven.
Paul writes, “it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is a gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.” Salvation is a gift from God. Love is also a gift from God. God’s love for us should be reflected in the way we love others.
God’s love for us in Jesus changes the way God sees us. May it also change the way we see others. May God’s agape love for us lead us to agape love others. Not just a friendly, “let’s try and get along as best as we can” kind of love, but an unconditional, self-sacrificing, agape kind of love that seeks to love and serve others as our Savior loved and served us.
For many in today’s world, marriage is simply a contract, easily made, easily broken. People of my generation took pride in saying, “Marriage is just a sheet of paper,” opening the door to relationships without marriage. In God’s eyes, marriage is much more than that. It’s a promise to God and to each other. It’s a life-long union of one man and one woman. “Those whom God has joined together, let no one separate.”
It’s been said that “marriages are made in heaven.” It’s unfortunate when they become just the opposite here on earth. That wasn’t God’s plan, and it isn’t God’s fault. Sin is to blame. Sinful people with sinful natures who think, say, and do sinful things. That’s why it’s so important for husbands and wives to not only say, “I love you,” but also to say things like, “I’m sorry…please forgive me….” to one another and to God.
In today’s world, very few teachings from God’s Word meet greater ridicule from us than the teachings laid out in our text for today. The world thinks it has everything figured out when it comes to what’s right and what’s wrong, what’s acceptable and what’s unacceptable when it comes to the roles of men and women and husbands and wives.
If it is true than we know best, maybe someone could explain the following statistics to me: In a land where the national divorce rate is 1 out of 2, why does that divorce rate drop to 1 out of 40 for those who regularly attend church? Why does it drop even further to 1 out of 400 for those who regularly have devotions in their homes? I think that those statistics are evidence of what the world thinks it knows as opposed to what God actually knows. Proof of what God’s Word can accomplish in the hearts and lives of people. Proof of why it’s so important to begin with a solid foundation and build according to God’s plan.
Our primary goal in life isn’t a perfect marriage here on earth. Our primary goal is to one day take our seat at the Wedding Supper of the Lamb in Heaven, together with Jesus and all believers. Something to which we all have been invited. Something at which we are all expected. Something at which God wants all people to be. Something to which we won’t need to bring a gift because God has already provided the gift. He’s provided everything that we need in Jesus our Savior.
May God Bless You and Grant You His Peace!